Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Feeling a Little Nostalgic

Tonight we are taking a tour of the hospital that we will deliver at this time around.  It's making me feel a bit sad and nostalgic.  By nature I'm not a huge fan of change.  I like things to be predictable and I like familiarity.  This time around, our birth experience will not be either of those things, not that I'd ever call childbirth predictable per se, but at least knowing what to expect with my doctors and hospital was.

Before we moved, we went to a practice of four doctors.  Somehow it worked out that the same doctor was on-call for all of our children's births.  None of mine were scheduled and he said it was the first time it had ever happened to him.  We really liked our doctor and I have missed him terribly throughout this pregnancy!  I was also used to the hospital procedures and felt kind of at home there after having three babies.  

This time around I am also at a practice, but am seeing midwives.  While the practice is nice, I don't feel any real connection to any of the midwives and quite honestly can't even remember who is who half of the time.  It's been a little difficult for me.  I miss the familiarity of my doctor and being able to bring my concerns and questions to someone who knows my history.  I know it will all work out just fine in the end, but I just find myself getting a bit nervous about the situation.

We're down to our last month (4 weeks until my due date!) and I'm feeling a bit sad about the very real possibility of this being the last little bundle we have.  While this pregnancy has been by far the most difficult, I will still miss the amazing feeling of those first little patters, kicks, and squirms.  I still find it hard to believe that it was already six years ago that we had just done this for the first time and here we are with our fourth!  I still can't believe how quickly the kiddos have grown.  I may shed a few more tears this time around, especially after all of the firsts we'll encounter!  

I think it's safe to say that my husband and I are both excited and a little bit nervous about adding another baby to the brood.  We don't get much sleep around here the way it is, so what's another one, right?  I plan to soak up as many newborn snuggles as I can while still making sure to spend some time with all of the others, too, of course.  If this is indeed the last go-around, I'm going to try to live in the moment and enjoy it all, the good and the bad, as much as I can.  

Here's to an exciting last few weeks of wondering, "Is this the day?"  The kids are counting down the days as well.  I think they are intrigued and excited, too.  I guess I should get busy decorating the nursery and getting a few more things washed up.  Our little surprise will be here soon (we may want to solidify some name choices, too!).


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