Allergy Awareness: Please Help Be A Shining Light

Next week we are heading to the pediatric allergy clinic in Iowa City with our little guy.  It's been a few years since we've taken him to the allergist so we are all a bit anxious about what is to come. Since his allergy is severe, we do not have to take him to be re-tested each year as it is unlikely much will have changed.  It sounds strange, but I am relieved we only have to do this every few years.

When testing for allergies, the doctor performs a skin test where they put a liquid substance on his skin and watch for a reaction.  At our first appointment, back when he was 20 months old, they had to wipe it off soon after application.  The reaction to the peanut quickly spread up his back, where it was originally placed, all the way to his ears.  They generally wait ten minutes:  this took no longer than 2.

A few years later we participated in a family allergy study at the Children's Hospital in Chicago. They opted to not even do the skin test since his first reaction was so bad.  Instead, they just completed the blood test and I was so thankful he didn't have to experience it again.

At our last appointment, the allergist applied the substance to his forearm.  Within minutes he had a huge raised reaction.  When it continued to expand to the size of a ping pong ball, we asked for it to be wiped off.  No fun for our little guy.

Unfortunately, peanuts are not his only allergy.  Several tree nuts and shell fish are also on the list. We will see how Iowa City will want to proceed.  These appointments are hard, as they cause much discomfort for him and I know he feels much anxiety about the process.  Heck, I do, and they're not touching me!

Visiting the allergist every few years is a minute part of his care.  Keeping track of any change, even if it is for the worse, helps us manage his allergy on a daily basis to the best of our ability.  We also always hold on to some hope these appointments will lead us to an opportunity where he can be treated for his allergies.  There are many trials going on all over our nation and worldwide, but all in an experimental stage and not readily available to everyone.

These appointments also confirm, from a medical standpoint, that his allergy is real and something to be taken very seriously.  As silly as it sounds, there are many people in this nation who believe food allergies are made up.  They scoff at the idea of nut-free classrooms and schools, imply parents of children with allergies are being overcautious, and make tasteless jokes about people suffering from this serious, and potentially deadly, problem.  It sickens and infuriates me.

I am not one to be shushed on this matter.  In fact, I am quite outspoken.  I am willing to educate people and advocate for not only my son, but others in his position.  When it comes to life-threatening food allergies, ignorance is not bliss and when I come in contact with people unwilling to understand the seriousness of his condition, I press harder and bring the level of education and awareness to a whole other level.

While I don't expect those who haven't walked in our shoes to fully understand, I do hope they are willing to look outside of their own desires and see the big picture.  It is time for the insensitivity in this nation to stop and for the narcissistic behavior to end.  Food allergies are real, the rate of people affected continues to rise, and people can (and have) died from them.  It is no laughing matter and those who drag their feet and do not accept the seriousness of this condition frustrate me.

If you've made it this far, thanks for staying with me.  I am going to challenge you to be a light in the life of people who must manage this condition diligently each day.  Next time you hear someone complaining about nut-free snack lists, classrooms, or activities, speak up.  Be a voice of support and empathy.  Positive influences outside of those living with a food allergy are needed.  If each person who complained was met with one of support for these children and their families, it would begin to make a difference.

My son is an amazing young boy who happens to have life-threatening food allergies.  He is kind, loving, creative, and thoughtful.  He should not be defined by his food allergy and excluded from activities because of it.  He should live in a society of acceptance and one of empathy and kindness, rather than one of hostility and cruelty.

We have been blessed with a wonderful support system of family and friends.  My son's peers have rarely viewed the modifications made for his allergy negatively.  Sadly, at times, it has been the parents who have struggled.  Since preschool, he has been blessed with peers who have been aware of the dangers of his exposure to nuts and very protective of him.  I hope, as he grows older, this continues.  I pray the lights in the children continue to shine and the next generation is filled with kindness and acceptance of those who may be a bit different than them.

                  

    

Understanding Peanut Allergies: This is Our Life

Today I am mentally and emotionally drained.  I have these days from time to time and the causes usually vary.  Today, though, I feel this way because of a familiar struggle:  our son's peanut allergy.  To those who are fortunate enough to not have to worry about this, you may not understand how taxing this is on a parent.  We all worry about our kids, it's human nature, but the anxiety, stress, and worry a parent of a child with a life-threatening food allergy experiences is at a whole other level.

I can attest to this, because I am a mother of four.  To my knowledge, three of my children do not suffer from life-threatening food allergies.  I worry about them, yes, but life is just so much easier when you aren't navigating what feels like a mine-field.  Play date, birthday party, school, church, restaurant, sporting events....the list goes on.  No problem.  Off you go, have a great time!  These events with our oldest son, not so much.  Do we have the Epipen?  The Benadryl?  The wipes?  Safe food?  What will be served?  Have we checked the menu?  Should we let him go?  What if...  This is just a small sample of what goes through my mind on a daily basis.  It's tiring.  It makes me feel sad, angry, anxious, stressed.  We do our best to internalize these feelings and not outwardly show our struggles with these situations.  Our son realizes the dangers of peanuts and his exposure to them, but we do our best to live a normal life while taking the necessary precautions to make it "safe" for him.  

We struggle.  It is hard for those who do not live this life to understand how complex it is.  For the most part we have encountered people willing to do what's best for our son; to keep him safe and minimize his exposure.  But don't be fooled.  We experience resistance, anger, and questioning.  I'm sure we are viewed as overcautious, overbearing, high-maintenance, and difficult at times.  We advocate, we fight, we educate some more.  I am always willing to answer questions, be the classroom mom, and look over whatever is in question to help try to make it easier on others.

It's not as simple as making sure that he avoids peanuts.  That's the easy part.  It's the foods and products that they're hidden in that's difficult.  It's reading labels, researching restaurants and calling them, sifting through Halloween candy, finding safe treats for holidays, having a stash of homemade cupcakes in the freezer for birthday parties.  It's assessing the situation when traveling, attending social events, school, and extracurricular activities.  All of these things have become habit for us.  We can't afford to be lenient and "let it slide" just this once.  Once is all it takes.

My son is so much more than his peanut allergy.  He is kind, creative, smart, athletic, caring, and passionate about all things sports.  He is a wonderful big brother and a loving son.  He loves to write sweet notes to me and is quick to thank us when we do something special for him.  Unfortunately, he just has to be super careful to avoid peanuts and other nuts.  While it greatly impacts our lives and causes a lot of stress and anxiety, I know that God only gives us what we can handle.  Most days I feel like part of me "handling" this is by being vocal and trying to help people understand the severity of life-threatening food allergies.

They are an inconvenience, no doubt about it, but isn't keeping a child safe worth the inconvenience?  Please keep this in mind when precautions are put into place in schools, on airplanes, and other public places.  Do not take offense to them.  No one is trying to deprive you or your child out of spite.  These precautions are put into place to try (important word being try, we know nothing is fool-proof) to keep a child from having an anaphylactic reaction.  Epi-pens are not guaranteed to work.  People die from severe food allergies.  Those stories are not made up.  Please find it in your heart to be kind and empathetic to the children and their families that live with this daily.  We would love to be able to eat whatever we want and go wherever we want without worry.

The reality?  People won't die from not eating a peanut butter sandwich or snacking on peanuts on a plane, but my son could.  It's really that simple.  It's the little things that make the greatest difference.  When you encounter a situation where precautions are put into place, please take the time to consider how you would feel if the shoe were on the other foot.  From all of us with family members who have food allergies, we thank you!


            

Peanut-Free Halloween Treats for Classroom Parties or Home

As the time of year draws near where treats and snacks abound, I'd like to just touch quickly on addressing the seriousness of peanut and tree nut allergies.  Many children, like my son, have life-threatening allergies to these foods.  While we thoroughly enjoy our holidays, this is the time of the year where our stress level increases significantly because treats abound and we have to be very diligent about keeping our little guy safe.  If your child does not suffer from food allergies, please find it in your heart to respect those who do and be kind, especially if you are assisting with classroom parties.  I can assure you that we, as parents of a child with a food allergy, are not being over-protective or difficult by advocating for nut-free classrooms.  We understand that your child may not be able to celebrate with some of their favorite foods. The reason we are vigilant is really quite simple:  our children can die from a nut.  Yes, my son has an Epi-Pen, but the goal is to not have to use it and it is not a way to "cure" a reaction.  It just buys time until medical professionals can get to him.  Even then, there is no guarantee.  Speaking from personal experience, anaphylactic reactions are very scary and dangerous.  I have had two myself (I suffer from a bee sting allergy).  Please remember that these children did not choose this path.  Be kind, be empathetic, and teach your children to be the same.  We thank you.

Okay, now that my PSA is over let's get to it!  With Halloween just three weeks away, it's time to start planning those classroom parties!  This year I have two to plan for and am looking forward to helping in both of my kid's classrooms.  Given that many classrooms are now nut-free, I thought I'd share some fun treats that are peanut/tree nut safe since we have a lot of practice with this!  Many schools require you to bring pre-packaged food and all of these ideas will accommodate those rules.  You will notice that I have suggested brands with each idea.  These are brands that I have found to be peanut/tree nut safe.  Please double check the labels, however, as there are times that the manufacturing lines have been compromised and there may be a warning present!

Ghost Pudding

This one is quick and easy!  Draw round ghost eyes and mouth on a cup of Hunts Vanilla Snack Pack pudding.  

Scary, right?

Jack-o-lantern Cookies

Purchase Pillsbury sugar cookie dough.  Cut out in pumpkin shapes.  Spread with Betty Crocker Halloween frosting.  Make a face using Hershey Chocolate Chips.

4-year-old made independently!

Halloween Sandwiches

 For this you will need Sara Lee Soft and Smooth Whole Wheat or Whole Grain White bread, Kraft or Borden Cheese Slices, and 20 deli turkey slices.  Assemble a sandwich and cut out with an assortment of Halloween cookie cutters.

Ghost sandwich

Witch's Brew

In a witch's cauldron, create a mix of Honey Teddy Grahams, Rold Gold Pretzel Sticks, and Kraft marshmallows.  

Spiders

Place Betty Crocker vanilla frosting between two Nabisco Nilla Wafers.  Break Rold Gold Pretzel Sticks in half and stick in frosting.  Or place Sunbutter between two Ritz Crackers and place Rold Gold Pretzel Sticks in the Sunbutter.  

Nilla Wafer Spider 

Jack-o-lantern Mandarin Orange Cups and Mummy Juice Boxes

Draw a face on the lid of a Dole Mandarin Orange Cup.  Remove straw from a juice box and wrap with white crepe paper (make sure to leave top open for straw) and tape.  Draw on eyes with a sharpie or glue on googly eyes. 

Mummy juice box

Ghost Cheese

Using Borden or Kraft string cheese, draw a ghost face on the package.

Great for the lunch box, too!

Witch's Hats

Place a dab of frosting on top of an Oreo cookie and place a Hershey Kiss on top.  (Make sure to double check Hershey Kiss package as their seasonal items may be different than the regular!)

You can remove the frosting and just use the top/bottom, but they taste better this way!  

Halloween Fruit

Draw a Jack-o-lantern face on a clementine, peel some grapes to make squishy eyes, cut a banana in half and poke some Hershey Chocolate Chips in where the eyes and mouth should be.

Mummy Dogs

If you have an oven handy, wrap an Oscar Meier turkey dog in a Pillsbury Crescent Roll.  You can also place a half slice of Market Pantry cheese on the crescent roll before adding the hot dog.  Bake per Crescent Roll directions on a parchment paper lined pan for easy clean up!

Mummy dogs all ready to cook

Kindergarten Lessons

Wow!  We have made it to the last day of kindergarten.  I can hardly believe that an entire school year has passed already.  I remember feeling so nervous and sad when my oldest guy started kindergarten last August.  I couldn't help but wonder how one of my children was entering elementary school.  Where does the time go?!  Now I am about to have a first grader.  Hard to believe!

We've learned some lessons this school year, both good and bad.  While it's always hard for me to send my kiddos out into the world without Mom, it is always a little bit tougher with my oldest guy.  I never quite know what to expect and I find myself full of anxiety and worry about these new milestones.  Kindergarten has produced the most anxiety to this point.  After all, someone else would be responsible for my child for 6.5 hours a day.  On top of that, my concern for his safety with his allergy (and being newly pregnant!) was enough to cause me to lose some sleep!  

Once we got settled into a routine, things got a bit easier.  When he started, he only new one little guy in his class, but soon he was talking about his new friends.  That's the beauty of young children.  They can quickly find a few people that they feel comfortable around and turn that into a friendship in just a matter of days.  Before long I was hearing all about what he and his new friends were doing every day at recess and being badgered to schedule playdates.  

Unfortunately as the year progressed, we started to hear unpleasant stories about a few classmates.  Our child who was so happy to go to school began to cry and tell us how much he hated school and did not want to go.  One child, in particular, continued to pick on our little guy at recess and other times throughout the day.  This produced a great deal of anxiety in him and caused a lot of problems for awhile.  We addressed this problem with his teacher and thankfully it came to an end.  While we are happy that it stopped, it still greatly concerns me that our child had to deal with this at the young age of 5.  It is so unfortunate and I know our son was not alone.

During this year, our little guy learned to read.  He can now sit down and read stories to his siblings and us.  How awesome!  He began to write books (about sports of course!) using a combination of inventive spelling and sight words and developed a love of drawing.  P.E. quickly became his favorite activity at school and he came home telling us how much he loved music class, too.  

At the beginning of the year he couldn't tie his shoes and this was a struggle for much of kindergarten.  Now he can easily do it and rarely asks for help.  He was always good about recognizing situations that might be dangerous for him due to his peanut allergy, but he is advocating for himself and taking all of the precautions that were put in place in stride.  Yes, it singles him out in many situations, but he realizes it is for his safety.  I am so proud of how far he's come.

We've made it through the first year of elementary school.  I am looking forward to not packing a lunch, scrambling to get everyone ready and out the door in the morning, and gathering everyone again at 3:00.  It will be great to get outdoors, have playdates with friends, and hit up some local child-friendly places.  I plan to keep my kiddos busy learning this summer, but it will be fun and child-directed.  We've got quite the summer bucket list and it's time to get at it!  

We made it!  Welcome summer!


 

How to Make Your Halloween Trick-or-Treat Handouts Nut-Friendly

Halloween is a little over two weeks away and the kids are so excited.  Our trip to the pumpkin patch was a wash thanks to all of the rain and wind we had this weekend, so we are hoping that the weather is good next weekend.  They are getting impatient and want to pick out and carve their pumpkins.  Carving is really more of a daddy and the kids project and I can't wait to see what they come up with this year!  I'm thinking the little guy is going to love playing with the "pumpkin guts."

While we have a lot of fun with Halloween, we also find it quite challenging at times due to our oldest son's peanut and tree nut allergy.  Trick-or-treating is the obvious time when his allergy poses a problem.  Bless his heart, each time he knocks on a door he tells the person that he has a peanut allergy.  We have tried to teach him what candy is "safe" and so if there's a choice, he goes on the hunt for those options.  Many times, though, he has to choose something that he won't be able to have.  We aren't really big into letting our kids gorge themselves on candy, but it is hard to watch his face while he watches us sort the candy and much of his "loot" actually gets taken away.  

While I understand that not everyone will go out of their way to accommodate children with these allergies, it is easy to do as there are some types of candy that are safe.  In case anyone would like to have some "nut-free" options on hand or choose to just hand out "safe" treats, here is a list of what we have typically found to be okay.  As always, be sure to double-check the label to see if there is any bold print about peanuts or tree nuts.

"Nut-Free" Trick-or-Treat Options:

Anything made by the Tootsie company.  Usually the large bags are called Child's Play Tootsie mix.

Wonka Mixups (contain Nerds, Laffy Taffy, Sweet Tarts, and Bottle Caps)

Kirkland Signature Funhouse Treats mix

Dum Dums lollipops

Skittles 

Starbursts

Hershey Milk Chocolate Kisses

Goldfish Crackers

Utz Halloween Pretzels

Betty Crocker Halloween fruit snacks

Oreo Halloween Minis

Swedish Fish

Pixy Stix

Fun Dips

Lifesavers

Twizzlers

I know there are more options out there, but this is just a list I could come up with off the top of my head!  We tend to buy bags of the first two, as it is a pretty good variety and we can give a few pieces to each kid.  If you really want to get creative, buy some Tootsie Pops, cover them in Kleenex tied off with yarn, put some eyes and mouth on them with a marker, and you have a cute ghost!

Happy Monday!  More Halloween activities, food, and tips to come!

 

Raising the Next Generation

It seems that every time I turn on the news, I see a story about our children suffering.  Whether it be bullying, gun violence, abuse, neglect, or poorly educated, none of it is acceptable.  Sending your child out into the world is a scary time these days.  I know I felt very anxious about our son starting kindergarten for many reasons.  Outside of the danger of his allergy, I worry about how he will be treated by others.  It breaks my heart to hear him come home with stories about being hit or kicked or being left out.  I understand that there are many tough lessons that all of my kiddos will have to learn, but the reality of it all doesn't make it any easier.  While some incidences are "normal" childhood behavior, there are many that are not.  It is our job as parents to start turning this around.  We can be responsible for our kiddos and hope that they can lead by example.  These lessons start at home and who best to learn from than us?  Remember, it takes a village!

The "Golden Rule" at our house is to treat others as you wish to be treated.  Whenever one of our kiddos does something to hurt another, one of the first questions they are asked is, "How would that make you feel if ___ did that to you?"  Once they've answered, they are promptly sent to time-out to think about what they have done.  Once the timer goes off, they are to apologize to the offended person and most of the time a hug is involved, too (though that's voluntary!).  It seems simple enough, but it's a good life lesson and one that they will time and time again.  As they grow older, I hope that they will take the time to stop and think about how their actions will make others feel.

We also believe in using good manners.  Even before they can speak, our kids are taught "please" and "thank you" using baby sign language.  In our home, we expect our kiddos to be polite when asking for things, we also do the same for them.  While we are firm in our directions, they are usually prefaced with a please and if they have followed the direction, they will receive a thank you.  We work hard on these manners at the dinner table and hear a lot of, "You're welcomes" coming from the kiddos, too.  When they are done eating, they must ask to be excused from the table.  Even our little guy uses all of these manners.  It makes us proud as parents to hear compliments from others on how polite our kiddos are.  We feel that this is important and instills a sense of respect in them.

These skills seem easy to teach.  It involves repetition, capitalizing on teachable moments, and leading by example.  To truly make a change in this world, though, we need to teach our children to be compassionate and empathetic, to tolerate and accept others' differences, to think of and help others, and to simply be kind and generous people.  Helping our kids achieve these qualities will take a little more work!

Once again it seems that the best way to teach these skills is to be a role model yourself and to surround yourself with people who display these qualities.  If one of our kiddos is crying, we encourage the others to ask if they're okay.  Now it is a natural response when they are around other children their own age and they're crying.  It is very heartwarming to see them pause and go check on someone.

Holiday season is a wonderful time to teach children the importance of helping others.  There are always opportunities to provide food, gifts, and basic necessities for those in need.  Now that our kiddos are a bit older, I like to bring them along to help with the purchases and discuss what we're doing.  If you don't have extra money lying around for these causes, you can always donate your time.  By modeling the importance of these type of activities, we are truly teaching our children to be compassionate, kind, and helpful human beings.

I feel like one of the hardest issues to tackle is teaching our children to tolerate and accept others' differences.  In this day and age where bullying is so prevalent, we need to really work with our young children on this issue.  I know that I fear that our son will be bullied for his peanut allergy, as it is all too common now since there seems to be a "target" on his back.  For some reason many parents who don't have a child with a peanut or nut allergy view the precautions taken to keep children safe in such a negative way and this rubs off on their children.  Before you become angry because your child's school has adopted a peanut and nut-free policy, step back and think of the reason why these measures have been taken.  These children can die from ingesting the smallest bit of a nut.  This is a perfect example of teaching tolerance and acceptance and it starts with the parents.  Kids pick up on everything and their ears are always on.  If you are speaking poorly about others because of their differences, your children will adopt this mentality as well.  It's a hard habit to break, but take a step back and put yourself in someone else's shoes.  We all want our children to be treated with kindness and respect.  This starts in the confines of our home.  Do we as adults model this behavior?  Are we tolerant and accepting of others?  If not, it's time to get to work.

It seems like we live in the era of go, go, go.  We are always running from one activity to the next trying our best to make sure that our children have it all, but in the end is it worth it?  When I was young, this just wasn't the case.  We didn't even start playing sports until we were eight!  While I am all for my kiddos exploring their interests and trying new things, I do not want to spend our evenings and weekends running from activity to activity.  Together we will prioritize what is important to them at the present time and give that a try.  If they enjoy the activity, then we will continue it, but if they do not enjoy it, once the session is over we will be done.  At this age, I feel like it is much more important to sit down and have a meal together several nights a week, focus on schoolwork, and get a good night's rest than spend our time running around, eating in the car, and being tired and unprepared for school the next day.  I know not everyone will agree, but I feel that while our children our young, we should enjoy them and not be terribly stressed about where we are going and all that we have going on.  I want us to be able to spend time as a family and truly appreciate these moments that we have, because soon they will be gone.  Our kids are only kids once!  Maybe getting back to slowing things down and spending more time as a family unit will help our children in the future.

While I understand that not everyone will share the same values that I have, I hope that we can all agree that something needs to change for our children.  Growing up we all dealt with being picked on and made fun of, but it feels like kids these days have taken it to another level and it saddens me.  Life seemed much simpler back then.  I went to school, came home, played, did my homework, enjoyed a family meal, spent time with my family watching tv, reading, or playing a game, and went to bed.  I didn't feel like I was constantly on a clock rushing to complete everything.  This is what I want for my kiddos.  I want them to feel loved, appreciated, respected, and important.  Perhaps if they feel this way, they will be happy and able to overcome the hardships they will inevitably encounter.  It seems like a hefty challenge, but I am up for it!    
  



  

So You're Child's Class is Peanut/Nut Free? Snack and Treats that are Safe

As you know, our oldest son has a severe peanut and tree nut allergy.  We have to be very careful what food we offer him and have to read every label.  For those of you that need some help with "safe" snack selections for your children in school, I thought I'd put together a list for you to refer to.  DISCLAIMER:  PLEASE double-check the label, as there are times when they may have an error on a manufacturing line that causes them to put a warning on that label.  These are some phrases you are looking for to indicate that the food is NOT safe:  "Processed or manufactured in a facility that uses peanuts/tree nuts, may contain peanuts/tree nuts, or shared equipment."  There are a few companies out there that will say "Peanut Free Facility."  One of the worst brands for nut safety is Wal-Mart's generic brand Great Value.

By no means do I feel that I can "guarantee" this list, but we read the labels and tend to trust what they say.  By law, a company must put on the label if it contains one of the top eight allergens, but it is voluntary to put on "may contains" or "processed in a facility."  Many companies will add this information, though, if there is a possible danger.  Handling allergies is a tricky thing to do!    

"Safe" Snack List:

Sunmaid Raisins

Keebler Bug Bites graham crackers

Keebler Scooby-Doo Cinnamon graham cracker sticks

Kellogg’s Multi-Grain All-Bran Crackers

Nabisco Honey, Cinnamon, and Chocolate Teddy Grahams

Nabisco Original Wheat Thins

Rold Gold classic style pretzel sticks

Graham Crackers (Nabisco, Honey Maid)

Fresh fruit (oranges, apple slices, grapes, strawberries, bananas, etc)

Fresh vegetables

Motts, Musselmans Applesauce

Ritz Crackers

Nutri Grain Cereal Bars – strawberry or apple cinnamon

General Mills Whole Grain or Regular Cheerios

Unsweetened fruit cups

Sliced cheese or string cheese *WALMART GENERIC BRAND IS NOT SAFE*

Keebler Original Crackers or Townhouse Original or Wheat Crackers

Yogurt/Go-Gurts

Sunshine Cheeze-its or Nabiso Cheese Nips

Pepperidge Farm Goldfish

Pirate Booty

Betty Crocker or Kelloggs Fruit Snacks

Carrots/celery and dip

Thomas Mini bagels

General Mills Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal, Golden Grahams, Lucky Charms

Kelloggs Fruit Loops and Apple Jacks

Nabisco Vanilla Wafers

Betty Crocker Vanilla, Chocolate, or Rainbow Chip Frosing

Kellogg’s Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts or Cinnamon Pop-Tarts

Kraft jet-puffed marshmallows

Nabisco Oreo Double Stuffed Cookies

Jell-O cups or Pudding Cups

Hunts Pudding Cups

Kellogg Rice Krispie Treats

Special K bars, strawberry

Nabisco Barnum and Bailey Animal Crackers

Nabisco Chips Ahoy or Chewy Chips Ahoy

World Gourmet Veggie Straws or Chips

If you're looking for "safe" candy treats, these are my "go-to" choices:

All Tootsie products 

Regular Hershey Milk Chocolate Kisses (though double-check around the holidays due to the special candies)

Twizzlers

Hershey Chocolate Chips (NOT White Chocolate)

Smarties

Dum Dums Lollipops

Sweettarts

Laffy Taffy

Skittles

Starburst

Keeping my little guy safe takes time, effort, and being incredibly thorough!  

It's August...That's Means the Dreaded "K" Word

It always seems that summer starts off slow and before I know it July is gone.  Well, that is the case again this year!  This year, though, August means a few new things to our family:  the princess will begin her preschool days and our oldest will begin what has come to be the dreaded "K" word for me.  Kindergarten.  All day.  Five days a week.  Where did the time go?

Let's start with the princess.  She is heading off to her first year of preschool and could not be happier.  After all, she has waited two years for it to be her turn to head to school.  This is a pleasant change for me.  Sending our oldest off to preschool was hard for me to do.  No longer would he be protected by mom, but sent out in a world that may or may not be so kind to him.  Luckily, it was the former, and he had a wonderful preschool experience filled with great teachers and friends.  Though he was unsure and shy for a great deal of those days, he blossomed into a little boy who no longer faded into the crowd.  You could often find him being the leader of some imaginative game.  

This experience has given me much more confidence in sending our daughter off to school.  Her personality is different than his, however.  While he was shy and reserved, she is an outgoing, excited, social little girl.  I've seen some times where she stands off a little shyly, but I think she'll do great.  She cannot wait to go make new friends and take her turn at school.  While our oldest rarely bucks the rule system, little miss spunky may get into a little mischief while off at preschool.  In the least, she'll keep everyone on their toes.  Time will tell!    

Now onto the "K" word.  There are several reasons why I am dreading the first day of kindergarten.  From a mother's standpoint, it seems unthinkable that my first-born is ready for this transition.  Those first years seem to go by slowly but then in a blink of an eye it's time for school.  How is that possible?  He is more than ready to head off to school (I think!), but am I ready to let him go?  What will I do all day without my chatty little baseball fanatic around to educate me on his latest baseball game and keep track of all the trouble his siblings are getting into?  What will my little ones think when their big brother is gone all day?  

Another reason I am dragging my feet about kindergarten is the stigma that surrounds school these days.  It seems like everywhere you turn, you hear about kids being bullied, tormented, and treated poorly.  I think most parents would agree that you naturally fear your child will become a target of someone that is not so kind.  This seems to start early and I pray that my sweet little boy will not be picked on.  He is such a kind, polite, friendly little guy that I hope he is able to stick up for himself if any nastiness comes his way.  It is just so sad that we have to worry about these things, especially at the young age of five.  

Of course his food allergy is a concern.  I know that the school will do all that they can to ensure that he is safe while he is in their care, but it will be hard to not be around to check everything and protect him from any possible harm.  Like I mentioned before, I am worried about him being isolated because of it or being picked on because he's different.  I think worry may become my middle name!

Maybe to some of you, this sounds a little over-the-top.  For me, though, it's the first step in letting go.  He's primarily been at home with me for nearly 5 1/2 years and it has been comforting knowing that I could watch over my kids and keep them safe.  I will admit that I am hyper-sensitive when it comes to my children and it will break my heart that first day he comes home to tell me about being left out or someone being unkind.  When my kids hurt, I hurt.  It's just how I am.  I know that it's great practice for the real world.  I have had my fair share of let-downs, heartbreak, and hurt feelings.  Perhaps some of those experiences I had growing up have made me more sensitive about what's to come. 

 In a perfect world, my little guy would be liked by all, treated with kindness and fairness all of the time, and succeed at everything he puts his mind to.  In reality, I know this is not the case.  It will be a learning experience for us all.  He will pave the way for the rest of our brood and I'm sure teach us all a few lessons along the way.  I'm not sure who will be more nervous that first day of school, me or him.  Either way, I will make sure that I send him off with a reassuring smile and hug while saving those tears for the ride home!  

Only two weeks until the adventures begin!

The Three Amigos...

Living With A Peanut and Tree Nut Allergy

This has been such a busy week prepping for the big birthday party for my in-laws this weekend.  I am happy we decided to host.  It has definitely given us an extra push to get some more decorating done around the house and to put things away!  I am quite exhausted, though, and am praying to hit the sack early tonight to rest up for the big festivities.  The fun begins tomorrow!

Despite our busy week, we still had some outside commitments we had to work in.  Today our oldest son had an appointment with an allergist.  We had gone to the same practice since he was just one, so change is always a little nerve-wracking.  I was hoping for a miracle that he had somehow outgrown his allergies, but that definitely was not the case.  Our poor little guy reacts so quickly and violently to the peanut antigen when they put it on his skin that it always frightens me.  I see what it does on the outside and fear what would happen again on the inside if he were to accidentally ingest a peanut again.  

Let's back it up a bit.  When our son was a few months shy of two, we hosted a family Halloween party at our home.  We were enjoying a nice dinner with our friends when our son took a peanut butter M&M off of my husband's plate and popped it into his mouth.  He had not had any exposure to peanuts at that point, as it was recommended to not give it to your child until they were two.  None of the kids had.  One mom commented, "Well, I guess we'll see what happens!"

It wasn't five minutes later and he began to cough and threw up all over my husband.  Our guests exited the party quickly and we immediately called the doctor.  They suggested we head to the ER.  We tried to clean him off a bit and with that he began to vomit uncontrollably.  We immediately called 911.  Keep in mind, this was all from ONE peanut butter M&M.  I can't imagine what it would have been like with a larger amount ingested!  It was a very scary evening for us all and it changed our lives.

For some reason, the topic of peanut allergies can be very sensitive and controversial for some.  It can be met with very negative and almost hostile reactions from people who have children that are not allergic.  This post is intended to shed some light on this very important topic for those of you who don't have first-hand experience with this issue.  I've spent a lot of time explaining to our friends and family members about the danger he faces if he's accidentally given a nut.  All have been very receptive and shocked to learn how much is involved in keeping your child safe.  

The worst part of having a child who has been diagnosed with a peanut allergy is the constant fear that they will ingest something containing a peanut allergen.  Well, that seems easy, right?  Teach your kid to avoid peanuts, peanut butter, and goodies that contain peanuts as an ingredient.  Wrong.  When your child has a severe allergy to peanuts (and in our case tree nuts as well), you have to avoid any item that may have been made in a facility that also uses nuts.  If you check a food label it may say one of the following:  contains peanuts/tree nuts, may contain peanuts/tree nuts, or made in a facility that also processes peanuts/tree nuts.  You have to constantly check products that you may have found to be "safe" in the past, as sometimes their lines change and they are no longer okay for your child to consume.  

Things that you may not even consider to be unsafe may be.  For example, Wal-Mart's Great Value brand is one of the worst at cross-contaminating.  One may think cheese would be just fine!  Wrong.  Saltine crackers?  Wrong.  It's a very extensive list of unsafe items.  Going grocery shopping no longer means taking your list and throwing items in the cart.  You now have to check every label to make sure that what you're bringing home to feed your child is "safe" for them to eat.  Bakeries are a thing of the past as are most baked goods at the grocery store.  It can be a challenge.  Eating out at restaurants also feels like navigating your way through a mine-field.  We have a few safe go-to restaurants, but for the most part we eat at home.  

Aside from the obvious risk of food, everyday experiences that you take for granted are no longer easy.  We attend story time at our local library and at the end of the session they provide a snack for the kids.  Unfortunately, it is animals crackers that are not safe for him to have.  School is a scary time.  You are no longer there to make sure that everything is okay.  Sure parents are asked to only bring in peanut-free snacks or treats, but each holiday I've had to pull out candy that was not safe for him to eat.  

Playdates are a natural part of growing up, but they become nerve-wracking for us and the parents of his friends.  Luckily we have been blessed with parents more than willing to welcome him into their home.  When we drop him off, though, we have to give a quick lesson on how to use an Epipen and hand over the bag of all of the information they would need should they need to call 911.  Birthday parties should be fun, right?  "Sorry, son, you can't have the cake, but I brought you your own cupcake from home!"      

 One year we bought season passes to Six Flags thinking it would be so much fun to take the kids there for a few hours on the weekends to burn off some energy.  We set off for our first day all excited and it quickly turned to panic as nuts were sold all over the park and we had to worry about the residue being on the rides where his hands touched.  What if he put his hands in his mouth?  He was only 3!  We love to go to baseball games at Wrigley Field and other major league ballparks.  We now take the time to wipe all of the seats down, wash hands frequently, and hope that the neighboring spectators choose a snack other than peanuts.

Taking a family vacation is fun, but a lot of anxiety finds it's way into the suitcase as well.  Airplanes are the worst.  Regardless of whether or not peanuts are served on your flight, someone before you may have had some.  The fold-down trays are the only place to put anything on to occupy your kids and keep their tummies full.  One of my greatest fears is being in the air and having him react.  This concern became very real on a flight that served peanuts and he began to cough and clear his throat.  How quickly can they land that plane?  I have been on discussion boards for a few major airlines where people get infuriated when "allergy parents" suggest banning peanuts on planes.  It very often goes something like this, "Why should I not be able to have my peanuts because YOUR child is allergic.  Who do you think you are to make the rest of us suffer on a flight?"  

Really, that statement is a walk in the park.  People get really fired up about this topic.  I often suggest putting yourself in someone else's shoes.  How would you feel if it was your child that could potentially die because the person next to you HAD to have peanuts in order to make it through a flight.  There are plenty of other snacks out there people.  I'm sure you don't sit around and regularly snack on peanuts.  If you do, perhaps you could survive a few hours without them.  Is it really worth risking someone's life miles above the ground over some silly peanuts?  Unfortunately, peanut residue can be airborne and those with the most severe allergies can have a reaction from someone simply opening a package of peanuts.   

I could continue to give you examples, but I'm sure you are starting to see that this is no walk in the park.  Having a child with a peanut allergy means doing all you can to make sure that your child is safe from a common little nut that is life-threatening.  We always have an Epipen and Benadryl with us, but it's still a very scary problem.

As a mother, I naturally feel very protective of my son.  When he was diagnosed with this allergy, I was devastated.  I knew that this would change his life and and it made me very sad.  It seemed like some of the innocence of childhood was gone.  We had to be so protective and teach him that he could not just eat anything he wanted without asking first.  At first he couldn't understand why he couldn't have what other were having.  Unfortunately, it put fear into him, but on the bright side he has become very cautious about accepting any food from someone other than us.  He asks everyone, "Are there peanuts in that?"    

Christmas was our first holiday that we really had to deal with this and of course homemade cookies are everywhere that time of year.  I made several kinds of "safe" cookies myself and took a tin whenever we went to a party.  We were so concerned that he would grab a bite of something that year since he was so young, but we made it through unscathed!  Our families were great at helping out and keeping the nuts out of their baked goods that year.

One thing that really bothered me was the fact that kids with a peanut allergy can be isolated.  Like I mentioned before, playdates are stressful for both sets of parents.  Going over to someone's house to play is one of the highlights of a child's life.  I always fear that he will not be invited over to other people's homes or be excluded from birthday parties because of his allergy.  This issue also concerns me as he heads off to school.  He will be starting kindergarten this year and will be "the kid with the peanut allergy."  I pray that he doesn't get made fun of and singled out because of it.  You may think that sounds silly, but it happens to my niece all of the time.  It's often helpful if there's another child in the class with the allergy, too, because they feel an instant bond because they realize they are not alone.

I could really talk about this forever.  I'm very passionate about it and do all that I can to make sure that our son doesn't feel like he's getting the short end of the stick because of his allergy.  Each year for his birthday I make him a homemade cake for the theme that he has chosen.  He gets some input and has been thrilled with all of them to date.  I bake him plenty of fun treats to take along to parties where I know the desserts will not be safe.  I educate parents who have questions and want to learn more about his allergy so that they will feel comfortable inviting him into their homes.  I volunteer in the classroom as a party coordinator to help make sure the snacks, projects, and treat sacks are "safe."  I do my best to make his childhood as normal as possible.  

I guess my advice to you if a peanut allergy does not directly impact your life, is to be compassionate and understand that we, as parents, are only trying to do what's best for our kiddos.  We are doing our best to protect them from harm and advocate for their well-being.  I know that it can be an inconvenience to some, especially those with kids in school, but please consider that by creating a peanut-free environment in the schools, our kids can avoid a potential deadly reaction.  Don't you think a child's life is worth it?

My Little Peanut Allergy Guy