Thursday, August 22, 2013

The Time is Now!

For some reason this week has been fairly emotional for me.  Perhaps it's my impending birthday, but I've found myself thinking about the past and focusing on my future an awful lot lately.  Maybe it is the milestones that have been or soon will be reached:  15 years have passed since I began college, the Queen Bee turned four months old last week, my little guy is about to turn three, the Princess just began her last year of preschool, and my oldest entered first grade.  Whether we like it or not, time just keeps on ticking away and I find myself searching within trying to figure out if I'm making the best of it.  

For the past six-and-a-half years my life has primarily revolved around my kids.  I quit teaching to stay home and have devoted nearly every hour of every day since then to raise my children to the best of my ability.  Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have it any other way.  My babies are my priority, but for the most part I feel like I've lost who I am outside of "Mom."  While I recognize that this has happened, it can still be a challenge to rectify the problem.  I have been focusing on this a lot over the past year and doing some soul-searching to try to come up with some answers.  Now that I have a little one again who is dependent on me to eat (no bottle for her, it's against her wishes) I feel that I have been given a little extra time to contemplate what my goals are in life and to further explore the "who am I" question.

Last night I found this quote from one of my favorite authors, Brene Brown:

"Midlife: when the Universe grabs your shoulders and tells you “I’m not f-ing around, use the gifts you were given.”

I realize that I am not in the "midlife" category yet, but to me I am looking at my mid-thirties as my time to to figure out what gifts I've been given and put them to good use.  I truly believe that doing this will bring me back a little closer to "me" instead of "mom."  Here are a few things that make my soul happy (other than my family):  bringing people together, helping those in need (especially children), spending time with friends, exercise, and music.    

I enjoy a good project and understand that this journey will take awhile.  My philosophy has always been "dream big" and I am more than ready to start taking the necessary steps to reach those dreams.  It's time to get off of the sidelines and get in the game.  No more excuses.

To all of you out there who feel like maybe you've lost yourself a bit, it's time to start searching inside and figure out where your passions lie.  What is your motivation?  What makes you feel alive and ready to tackle the world?  What impact do you want to make and how can you do it?  There's no better time to start than now.  Dream big!  

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