Waiting....

These last few days/weeks of pregnancy can best be summed up as a very wild roller-coaster ride.  This is particularly true for my emotions.  While I am physically tired, I am more emotionally drained than anything.  There is such anticipation waiting for this new one to arrive, both for us and our children, and I think we are all ready to meet our new little bundle.  Each night our oldest son tells me he hopes he doesn't see me in the morning, because he is so excited to meet his new brother or sister and he is afraid my stomach is going to pop!

If there is one thing that is true about pregnancy, it is that it is full of surprises:  from the gender (if you choose to wait) to when the baby will arrive.  For me, these last few weeks have been very trying waiting for the arrival of the baby.  Each day I wake up and wonder "is this going to be the day?"  The other night I woke in the middle of the night to contractions that were spread apart and soon regulated.  They were close enough to believe that we were heading in to have this little one only to have them stop.  It was very emotionally draining to be excited and sure that we were going to meet our baby soon to going back to the waiting game.  I'm trying to be patient, but I just want to meet our next addition!

This pregnancy has not been my easiest, but I love feeling the little one move around and I will miss those taps and stretches.  I'm trying to prepare for the possibility of this being our last baby, but I don't want to close the door on it quite yet.  Our lives are crazy, people think we're crazy, but a big family is something we always wanted and five children was our "magic number."  It is a decision that we will really have to think about and it is not a decision to be taking lightly.  If this is indeed our last baby, I will be sad to close this chapter in my life, but am grateful that we have been so abundantly blessed!

I know that the day is near and I have been trying to soak up the last moments with our three little ones.    The other night when I thought things were progressing in the right direction, it made me a bit sad.  I always feel this way right before another kiddo is about to join the family.  While it is a very joyous time, it always makes me feel a little anxious and sad to know that we are opening another chapter in our lives and the life we have settled into will soon be dramatically changed.  It's not a bad thing at all, it's just hard for someone as sentimental and emotional as myself.  I always worry how the other kids will react and hope that they don't feel slighted or not as loved.  Once the baby arrives, though, these feelings usually disappear and it feels like we've always been the family that we've become.  Needless to say, I'm sneaking in as many extra hugs, kisses, and snuggles as I possibly can!

This ride is about to end and I am praying that by the end of this weekend (if not sooner!) we'll have finally met Baby #4.  I am so excited and ready!  We are ready to roll and can't wait to start our lives as a family of six.  I am praying for a smooth and quick delivery and looking forward to our kids meeting their new sibling.  This day really can't come soon enough!