Lately I have been feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety. Generally speaking I am a "take charge" person: an idea pops into my head, and without too much thought, I run with it. This has not always be the best option and I have not always been successful when taking this route, but it is the way my mind is programmed. At least that's how it's been programmed in the past. Now I find myself confused: questioning the next move and hesitant to take the plunge when the next big idea pops into my head. I find my indecisiveness to be paralyzing. Do I move forward with hope and optimism or do I retreat out of fear and doubt? These days I seem to be stuck somewhere in between. Non-committal, full of questions, and in limbo.
This shift in thinking and decision-making has been challenging. I find myself singing lyrics from songs I hear on K-Love: "I lift my hands and pray," "I want to live with abandon," "We were made to thrive," and my new favorite "What if the trials in your life are mercies in disguise." I pray for clarity, some sort of a sign, the courage to move forward. I just know one of these days the vision will be clear. It is just so very hard to wait.
Yesterday I heard this verse and it resonated deep inside of me. It is much easier said than done, but I am going to do my best to trust in Him and take the first step in this unknown journey. Fear and worry simply cannot be an option anymore. When it is all said and done, standing on the sidelines is safe and unproductive. I want to be in the game feeling the exhilaration of hitting the winning shot at the buzzer. I want to live with abandon. It is time to take the plunge...
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