Thursday, February 20, 2014

A God-Sized Dream

If you've followed my journey at all, you know that it's my dream to open a preschool in my little community.  It was nearly a year ago that I decided to stop saying, "This would be a great idea" and transitioned to, "Let's do this!"  When I was in college, I dreamt of opening up my own early childhood center.  I wanted to include children with special needs that we could accommodate and create a high-quality program that was challenging and fun.  Fast-forward a little over a decade and I thought, "Now is the time!"  

I've spent countless hours looking at building space, creating my vision, preparing a business plan, jotting down ideas, and on and on.  The excitement was brewing!  A few months ago it seemed that my prayers had been answered and we had found an affordable a church no less!  This seemed like a great fit and I began to really get to work.  It was all smooth sailing until a few weeks ago.  The building code report was in and it was not good.  There were many updates that were noted and before I knew it, the cost and scope of work to be done was too much.  Disappointment.  Discouragement.  Sadness.  

Back to the drawing board it was.  I held out hope for one more space that I had looked at before, but it offered no outdoor space.  Something in the DHS manual caught my eye one day, "Outside space may be waived if the program is three hours or less."  What?!  I had never seen that before.  The space would be great, not perfect, but great.  I met an agent, looked at it, and got excited again.  I am a dreamer and I so badly want to make this happen!  Once again, though, it has ended in disappointment.  After long and thoughtful consideration, it's too much risk this late in the game.  Preschool registrations begin in January.  It's nearly March and while I may have found a space that could work, I still have to be state-approved.  It takes time and it's time I don't have.  Ugh.

This has been a difficult decision to make.  It is a big let down and I feel like I've disappointed a lot of other people as well.  I think it's time to take a little break and revisit the dream in a few months.  I don't want to give up on it altogether, but it seems like now is simply just not the right time.  Failure is not something I am fond of, but I am hoping to look at some of the lessons I've learned and move forward with a better plan.  Perhaps there is something even bigger out there that I just can't envision yet.

The other day I came across a book called, "You're Made for a God-Sized Dream" by Holley Gerth.  Without hesitation I clicked the little one-click button and a few minutes later it was delivered to my Kindle.  I'm going to read this book, thoughtfully answer the questions, and continue to pursue my dream.  I have a fire in my belly that continues to burn.  I just know there's something out there that is going to trigger an "Aha!" moment and I will understand the journey.  Until then...

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