Saying "Yes!"

This past year I have begun to follow many Christian blogs and they have made a tremendous impact on my life.  Many of the bloggers I follow are also published authors and I have chosen to read many of their books.  I must say, I have felt truly inspired by many of them.  Today I finished Rhinestone Jesus by Kristen Welch.  Her blog, We are THAT family is very well written and I agree with her parenting philosophy, so I assumed I would enjoy reading her book.

Wow.  Did I ever.  She encompasses much of what I aspire to do in life:  be a good mother, live a faith-centered life, serve others where God sees fit, and to share my story.  I admire those who have been able to be successful and achieve their goals, while continuing to be a "normal" mother raising her family.  The book turned out to be the pep-talk I've been so desperately craving.

Lately I've lost steam.  I have my hands in a lot of pots, but I'm going to take the advice of the author and focus on my "one."  Rather than spreading myself too thin and giving a less-than-all effort, I am going to focus my service in an area I feel passionate about:  education and literacy. I am so thankful this is also a project my entire family can assist with and relate to as well.

The charity I co-founded just one year ago exceeded our expectations in our first year and we are looking forward to impacting even more children next year, but there is a lot of work to be done. We have received many blessings during the inaugural year of From Cover to Cover, but it has been a challenge to build this from the ground up with my partner and dear friend.  We have a solid vision, feel our mission is important, and have seen first-hand the impact the gift we provide these children has.  We know we can make a tremendous difference right here in our community. The hardest part is sharing our mission and convincing others how truly important this project is.

As with all non-profits, we rely on donations and volunteers to achieve our goals.  Fundraising, awareness activities, and coordinating events requires a lot of time and dedication.  We have received tremendous support, but we need to grow our supportive base and it is hard to do!  I know we just have to keep believing He will provide, but there are days when I feel like we have an impossible mountain to climb.  We will continue to move forward and I pray soon we will have more help to achieve our goals!  This is my "one."  This is my "yes!"

Are you feeling the pull towards something and afraid to say, "Yes!"  If you need a little inspiration, I highly recommend reading the book.  Maybe you just need a little nudge to take that first small step.  Whatever the case, now is the time!

The Quest for a Simpler Life: Being Okay with Swimming Upstream

Intentional living.  Recently a friend sent me a blog post about a newly released book called Notes From a Blue Bike:  Living Intentionally in a Chaotic World by Tsh Oxenreider.  I knew I wanted to read it and am so happy I did.  For me and for my family, it is time to quiet the noise.  To sift through all of life's distractions and decide what is truly beneficial and what needs to go.  To live simply in a way which reflects our values, priorities, and purpose.  To be okay with swimming upstream.

Our society encourages us to fill our days to the brim.  The busier the better.  Young, old, or in between; no one is immune.  We are encouraged to buy, buy, buy.  To fill our homes with so much "stuff" we find it difficult to appreciate what we have.  Work follows us home and we are accessible all.of.the.time.  In our culture, less is definitely not more.  Family time is spent on the go and so often our children are robbed of the opportunity to simply be kids.  We're all chasing this idea that our worth is defined by our achievements and to achieve great things we must go, go, go.  Work more, sleep less, enroll in an abundance of extracurricular activities, always say yes.  How far from the truth is this way of thinking?  Far, very far.

By nature, I am an organizer and a busy body.  I enjoy being involved in my community, working on projects at home, and keeping up with my kids.  I have a hard time sitting down and just relaxing.  I feel like I am doing my best to balance my role as a mom with the need to be an individual too.  I spend the majority of my time at home with my family, but need to do a better job of quieting some of the noise that distracts me from my purpose for this season:  being a mom to four impressionable young children.  Saying no to the opportunities outside of the home that aren't a priority, limiting social media, and ignoring the pressure to keep up with the Jones'.

In our home, family will always be number one.  It is time to focus on our priorities in many different areas of our life (examples taken from the book:  food, education, travel, entertainment, and work).  The decisions we make each day should coincide with these priorities.  Our children may not be pleased when we tell them no, but there are times when it needs to happen.  For our family, time for free play, eating dinner together, and early bedtimes mean we limit our extracurricular activities and schedule them to work with these priorities.  Limited screen time may mean saying no to the technology that may interfere with reading, cultivating creativity, and outdoor play.  Taking a family vacation may mean saying no to costly local entertainment in order to save up for a bigger adventure.  

Slowing down may seem like such a challenge.  Ridding our homes of excess "stuff" may seem impossible.  Living simply takes work.  Our decisions may be different than our neighbors, friends, or extended family and that's okay.  The key point to remember: to be confident in our decisions and keep our priorities at the center of our decision making process.  Slow down.  Quiet the noise.  Remember our priorities.  While we may be swimming upstream, we are putting our family first and holding true to our beliefs.  You just have to own it and carry on.  As the old saying goes, "To each his own."      

  

    

       

Preparing for Lent

For the majority of my life I've considered myself to be a good Catholic.  Through the years I've pretty regularly gone to church, completed all of my sacraments, participated in mass using my musical talents, and contributed financially.  My husband and I have baptized our children and taught them about God and Jesus since they were little.  We've shared Bible stories with them, taught them a special bedtime prayer, encouraged them to share their own special bedtime prayers, and recently begun singing (yes, singing) a mealtime prayer.  Our faith is important to us.  On the surface, it seems like we're on the right path, but upon digging a little deeper, I've realized we have some room for improvement.   

Last year I began reading some books by Christian authors and started to realize that while I was doing the "right" things, there were many ways that I could improve my spiritual life. Several of the books I have read were written by women; many of them mothers.  I have found myself feeling like I could relate to these women in so many ways, but the strength of their faith was far greater than mine.  It was a refreshing change of pace and I was left wanting more when I finished them.  

The past few months I have really been focusing on my spiritual life.  Some simple changes have already made a big impact.  I have a little more patience, am yelling less, and generally feel more calm.  It seems so simple that a few books could change the way I view life, but it's true.  Recently I have come together with a group of moms to discuss a book I've shared with you before:  Desperate:  Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe.  We are beginning to explore our roles as mothers, our relationship with God, and how it all ties together.  I am looking forward to this journey we are taking together and am counting down the days until our next gathering.    

With Lent beginning this week, I feel like it's the perfect time to focus on this part of my life even more.  Traditionally people give something up during this time and while I may do that, too, my aspiration for Lent is to learn to let go of past discretions, strengthen my relationship with God, and help guide my children to grow in faith, too.  My current reading material (You're Made for a God-Sized Dream and Desperate:  Hope for the Mom That Needs to Breathe) are filled with opportunities for reflection and to answer some tough questions.  I truly feel that this will help me in so many ways and I am looking forward to reading more books of this type.  If you feel like you could use some inspiration, are feeling a little down, or you want to deepen your faith, I would recommend picking up a book by these authors:  Holley Gerth, Jen Hatmaker, Lysa TerKeurst, Sarah Mae, Bob Goff, and Christine Caine to name a few.    

I picked up a few books to read with my kids, too.  Every Day a  Blessing and The Usborne Children's Bible are on our end table ready to go!  While the children's bible is out of print, there is the Usborne Little Book of Stories From the Old Testament available.  They are a great addition to your spiritual library, as they are durable, small (but not too small) and have nice colorful pictures. 

What are your Lenten goals this year?

  

A God-Sized Dream

If you've followed my journey at all, you know that it's my dream to open a preschool in my little community.  It was nearly a year ago that I decided to stop saying, "This would be a great idea" and transitioned to, "Let's do this!"  When I was in college, I dreamt of opening up my own early childhood center.  I wanted to include children with special needs that we could accommodate and create a high-quality program that was challenging and fun.  Fast-forward a little over a decade and I thought, "Now is the time!"  

I've spent countless hours looking at building space, creating my vision, preparing a business plan, jotting down ideas, and on and on.  The excitement was brewing!  A few months ago it seemed that my prayers had been answered and we had found an affordable space...in a church no less!  This seemed like a great fit and I began to really get to work.  It was all smooth sailing until a few weeks ago.  The building code report was in and it was not good.  There were many updates that were noted and before I knew it, the cost and scope of work to be done was too much.  Disappointment.  Discouragement.  Sadness.  

Back to the drawing board it was.  I held out hope for one more space that I had looked at before, but it offered no outdoor space.  Something in the DHS manual caught my eye one day, "Outside space may be waived if the program is three hours or less."  What?!  I had never seen that before.  The space would be great, not perfect, but great.  I met an agent, looked at it, and got excited again.  I am a dreamer and I so badly want to make this happen!  Once again, though, it has ended in disappointment.  After long and thoughtful consideration, it's too much risk this late in the game.  Preschool registrations begin in January.  It's nearly March and while I may have found a space that could work, I still have to be state-approved.  It takes time and it's time I don't have.  Ugh.

This has been a difficult decision to make.  It is a big let down and I feel like I've disappointed a lot of other people as well.  I think it's time to take a little break and revisit the dream in a few months.  I don't want to give up on it altogether, but it seems like now is simply just not the right time.  Failure is not something I am fond of, but I am hoping to look at some of the lessons I've learned and move forward with a better plan.  Perhaps there is something even bigger out there that I just can't envision yet.

The other day I came across a book called, "You're Made for a God-Sized Dream" by Holley Gerth.  Without hesitation I clicked the little one-click button and a few minutes later it was delivered to my Kindle.  I'm going to read this book, thoughtfully answer the questions, and continue to pursue my dream.  I have a fire in my belly that continues to burn.  I just know there's something out there that is going to trigger an "Aha!" moment and I will understand the journey.  Until then...

Let's Be Honest, Parenting is Tough

Parenting.  This seems to be such a hot topic these days.  You can read countless books on different parenting styles, magazine articles making promises that doing "x" will change your life, and countless blog posts that make one think about and evaluate your parenting philosophy.  I love to read and have spent many hours soaking up information from all of these categories.  It wasn't until recently, however, that I switched from reading parenting books and advice written by "professionals" about research and theories to material written by the true professionals:  moms.  Real-life moms.  And better yet?  These books are written by moms with strong faith that have led me to an entirely new view of parenting.  

If you're like me, after reading a book by the "professionals," whether it be on sleep, discipline, or eating, you're left with the hope of changing things, but in the end feel a bit empty or guilty because it was not a success.  Perhaps you're left questioning yourself or even convinced that you're just not cut out for this.  In my experience, all of those books didn't quite work for our family, so throughout the years we've just rolled with it and come up with our own philosophy on all of these topics.  Our kids have been horrible sleepers, but we stick to early bedtimes and attempt a nap/rest time each day.  Our kids have their good and bad moments, so we use time-out, positive reinforcement, and praise to try to shape their behavior.  As for eating, between reflux, sensory problems, and just plain pickiness, we've done our best to provide them with nutritious food and offered a variety of choices.  Sounds pretty plain and simple, right?  Does it coincide with what the "professionals" suggest?  Probably not.  Do people try to impress what has worked for them upon us to "help?"  Yes.  Has it been a challenge?  For sure!  But, such is the life of parenting young children.

Recently there has been a shift in the way I think about and view my parenting.  When I finish reading a book, I feel encouraged.  Rejuvenated.  Hopeful.  I understand that I'm not alone and that parents of young children struggle.  There is no magic "fix."  It has made me think about my choices more, reflect on what I'd like to change, and pray for the strength and guidance to do so.  Tough questions have been asked and I've thoughtfully answered them.  Why?  Because our children are special gifts and it is our job to nurture them, encourage them, and guide them to the best of our ability.  I know I will make mistakes along the way, but I am trying each day to make small changes and embrace the wonderful and the challenging moments.  I'm trying to lower my voice, slow my temper, and focus on the positive.  It's definitely a work in progress and some days are better than others.  Ultimately, though, I'm confident that I'll be able to do this.  I'm ready for a change and to escape this cloud that has hung over me for more time than I'd like to admit.

Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson focus on the importance of connection and support for a mother (I believe it would be true for fathers, too).  One of the most important "ugly truths" about parenting, especially staying at home with the kids, is that it can feel so terribly isolating.  Sometimes I think we feel ashamed that we feel this way, but it's true.  I'm sure many can attest to it.  We crave connection and interaction with people taller than four feet.  It is an area in our lives, since moving, that we still struggle with with.  One of my priorities is to connect with other moms more.  It would be nice to do play dates, mom's night out, or a book study on a regular basis.  Gathering with other couples or a night out alone with my husband have also made the priority list.  Life can't just revolve around the adorable little children.  In addition, I feel strongly that our church should have a mother's of young children group so that the moms can connect, have a support system and the families can build a strong community.  Along with another friend, we hope to achieve that goal soon.  I love Clarkson's advice that in this day and age of busy, it is best not to wait for invitations from others, but take the initiative to make these connections and create these opportunities ourselves.  Speaking from experience, I could not agree more.

So, what sparked this post?  What have I read lately that has given me encouragement and hope?  Two books:  Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst and Desperate, Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson.  If you feel like you could use some encouragement or need a little pick-me-up, I can't recommend them enough!  Enjoy!

Finding Our Purpose and Acting On It: Part 1

I finished my first book of March!  It was actually on my February book list, but I didn't get around to it.  I'm grateful that I got it read, because it was a great story with a motivating message that just reinforced the journey that I'm on.  As I've mentioned several times, I have really taken to reading non-fiction books and especially am intrigued by people's experiences and journeys to get where they are now.  This book was no exception and if you're looking for a little inspiration, reassurance, or motivation, it may be a great book for you to read.  It is called Undaunted:  Daring to do what god calls you to do by Christine Caine.

You see, I'm still in that place where I'm a little uncertain, a little hesitant, in what path I'm supposed to be taking.  What role(s) am I supposed to be fulfilling right now?  What is my purpose?  How can I make a difference in my corner of the world?  I always have a million ideas spinning around in my head and I feel passionate about helping other people and raising well-rounded, compassionate, caring children.  If I really sit down and think about my goals and where my heart lies, I can come to these conclusions that my purpose must include children, education, and those less fortunate.  I have come to this same conclusion since I was a little girl.  I knew from a young age that I'd be a teacher.  I always wanted to be around children and jumped at any chance to babysit.  I would make baked goods to sell at garage sales and donate the money to a charity.  It's been wired into me from the beginning and I don't think it will ever change. 

Now that I clearly understand what I'm drawn to, I suppose it's time to evaluate how I have been incorporating those passions into my life and how I can "go bigger."  I can see that being a mother is one of the roles I'm supposed to fulfill in life and that's what I'll touch on today.  Maybe sharing my experiences, struggles, joys, and frustrations with an audience of those experiencing similar situations is my way to go "bigger" in that role.  Maybe one of you has been encouraged or relieved to find that you aren't alone from something you have read on this blog.  Just to know you aren't alone can be a big relief!  

While having a big family isn't for everyone, it was our desire to do so.  Being a mother to many children, especially so young and close in age, is a challenging, rewarding job.  We have our good days and our bad, but at the end of each day, our children are tucked into bed knowing that they are loved, cared for, and special.  Do I always feel great about our day and how I handled things?  No.  Are there days where it is heartbreaking to watch my children struggle?  Yes.  Do I find joy in our family and the love we have for each other?  Yes!  Though we aren't perfect, we do the best that we can.  At the core of it all is our faith.  It is important to us to teach our children about God and to guide them in prayer each night.  It is also the way that I end each day (though I will admit, there are times when I'm so exhausted I wake up to realize I completely fell asleep in the middle of my prayers!).  We may not be the most religious family in the world, but we are building a foundation for our children and family that will continue to grow.

*Today I'm going to share with you some personal thoughts on some reasons I feel kids in our society are struggling.  Not all of you will agree, but this is something I feel very passionate about and I'm willing to go out on a limb and share these thoughts.  Today I feel like this is my purpose:  to put myself out there and maybe inspire some thought and conversation on this topic. 

As I mentioned last week, our kindergartener is having trouble at school.  Many of you reached out to me to share that your child has encountered unpleasant experiences at school and that you are shocked at how young our kiddos are being exposed to cruel behavior, inappropriate social interactions, and teachers who aren't looking at our children as individuals but by what know.  It is sad, it is troubling, but most importantly it is just not acceptable.  If these behaviors are starting this early, where are they heading in the future?  Bullying is the hot topic now in education and society, but how much action is being taken?  There are protocols for everything, but when I hear my son share his experiences about telling a person in charge when he is being picked on (both verbally and physically), their response seems to be less than helpful (for example, "See if you can make him stop.").  The responsibility, however, does not lie entirely with those we entrust our children to everyday, it lies with us, as parents, as well.  From my perspective, I feel that we have two major responsibilities:  Are we teaching our kids how to cope and deal with these experiences?  Are we providing an environment at home that is focused on being kind to others, spending time with our children, and monitoring what they are being exposed to?

Our children need to feel valued and important.  I understand that life is busy and many are balancing work and children, but we still need to make time to spend with our children that is relaxed, fun, light-hearted, and pleasant.  If a day has been stressful and crazy (I understand this well!), the least we can do is sit down at the end of the night, snuggle up with our kiddos, give them our full attention (no tv, texting, emails, etc.) read to them, and ask them about their day.  How will we ever know how they are feeling, what troubles they're having, or what wonderful experiences they've had that day if we don't ask?  How lonely that must feel to be brushed off because Mom or Dad are too busy, stressed, or tired.    I think we need to make it a point to have one late afternoon/night a week that is reserved for family fun time.  Play a game, watch a movie together, or go somewhere fun that is family-friendly.  Make it a tradition-kids love them (and parents will, too)!  We chose to be parents and it is our most important job.  We need to make it a priority to be present and available to our kids.

When I sit and think about what has changed in the past 25 years since I was in elementary school, the first thing that comes to mind is technology:  computers, tablets, smartphones, video games, you name it.  I feel like these advances in technology are taking away from what kids really should be doing:  interacting with others, playing, using their imaginations, and learning how to occupy their time without having their faces glued to a screen.  One of my biggest pet peeves about going out for dinner (or anywhere in public really) is seeing kids sitting at a table playing on a phone/tablet.  Why aren't we teaching our kids how to socialize and behave when we're out and about?  How about having a conversation, playing a game of tic-tac-toe, or coloring like we did when we were younger?  Yes, it's great to have our kids quiet, but if you really think about it, how are we preparing them for their future socially?  How are they learning to self-regulate?  To interact with others?

In our busy world, it seems so easy to have our kids watch tv, play video games, or play on the tablet or computer to keep them occupied. While this can provide a lot of educational opportunities, we can't forget about the simple act of playing.  Kids need to be creative, use their imaginations, move their bodies around, be silly, and have fun.  There needs to be a limit (and a short one at that) on how much time our kids are partaking in these activities.  While advances in technology have made our lives much easier, I don't think they've been as beneficial for our kids as many would believe.  I've heard teachers who work with middle and high school students talk about how many kids just don't know how to interact anymore.  They don't talk, they text.  Their faces are always buried in their phones.  Instead of doing things with their friends or playing outside, they're hanging out at home indoors playing video games and watching tv.  I'm sure this is trickling down to the elementary level as well. This is not a positive trend!    

Finally, we need to really think about what we are allowing our kids to watch and what types of games we are allowing them to play.  There is so much violence out there, both fictional and real, and we wonder why our kids are acting the way they do.  We, as parents, need to set the limits and relay our expectations to our children.  Ultimately, we are the ones in control.  One of the most disturbing tidbits my son came home with from school one day was about the shootings at Sandy Hook.  It was the first school day after the horrible tragedy.  While we had taken the time to sit down and discuss what happened with him, we did not give a detailed description and kept it fairly vague, as we felt that it was developmentally appropriate for him.  We kept the television off any news channels that weekend and the days that followed.  I was appalled when our son came home giving me a graphic account of what had happened at Sandy Hook.  I had recorded and watched the news and knew that the child that had shared this information had done so also.  My first thought was, "Where are this child's parents?"  Why are we allowing our young children to watch these things?  Yes, there is a lot of hardship and tragedy in this world, but that doesn't mean that the nightly news is the way our children should be learning about it.  I had a difficult time processing what had happened, I can't imagine what a young child would think!  

This post may come across as a big rant or preachy, but these topics are something that I have given a lot of thought to and talked with my husband and friends about at great length.  None of us are perfect parents.  We don't always make the best choices for our kids, but as a society, we need to take a step back and really think about how we can shift this sad state we're in.  These kids are our future.  We need to step up, speak up, and help our kids be kind, compassionate, caring people.  Somehow, some way, we need to make a difference.  It starts in our homes, but that may not be enough.  How can we reach out to our community to make an even bigger impact?  What can we do to make a difference in our corner of the world?
   

  







      

  

March Book LIst

March is just around the corner, so it's time to make the book list!  I'm a little behind on my February reading, so my list this month is a bit shorter than normal.  I am hoping I can sneak in one more book before month's end (or close to it), but time has not been on my side this month.  Too much going on and my planned vacation reading was a bust!

This month I'm picking three fiction books.  While I really enjoy non-fiction, I am up for some light-hearted reading this last month before the new little one makes his or her arrival!  My books left over from February are non-fiction, so I will still get my fill.  These are my choices this month and they are all authors that I have been reading the past few months and come to really enjoy:

The Bungalow by Sarah Jio
Between Sisters by Kristin Hannah
Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin

I am looking forward to reading these books!  I just finished Violets of March by Sarah Jio over the weekend and have really taken to her writing.  They are romance books with some mystery to them and I find myself having a hard time putting them down.  If you haven't checked her books out yet, I would highly recommend them.  They are a quick read!

February Book List

Since next week already marks the end of January, I decided I should work on creating my booklist for February and get them on reserve at the library or purchased.  I'm not big into buying books, but there are some that I cannot get through the library and others I feel would be a good addition to my small adult book collection.  Some are worth multiple reads!  Thank goodness for an Amazon gift card that I received for Christmas.

My goal for January was to read six books.  While I've met that goal, there are two books on my list that I haven't finished yet, but hope to finish soon.  I found a new fiction author that I really liked and I got my hands on a few more of her books, so I couldn't resist!  I read Emily Giffin's Something Borrowed earlier in the month and added Something Blue and Baby Proof to my January reading list.  They were great and I can't wait to read some more of her books next month!  I also read my first book by Sarah Jio, Blackberry Winter, and enjoyed her style as well.

This month we are heading south on vacation, so I'm hoping to find some time to relax and read in the warm sun!  Once again, I have a mix of fiction and non-fiction books on the list.  My goal for the month is six books again, so we'll see how it goes!  Here's the list:

The Violets of March by Sarah Jio
Love the One You're With by Emily Giffin
I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't):  Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough" by Brene Brown
Grace for the Good Girl:  Letting Go of the Try Hard Life by Emily P. Freeman
Undaunted:  Daring to Do What God Calls You to Do by Christine Caine
Peace is Every Step:  The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life by Thich Naht Hanh


 

How Much is Too Much?

My goal for the month was to read six books (see January's reading list) and am happy to say that just halfway through the month I am onto number 4!  This month was split between non-fiction and fiction, which is how most of my months will look.  I've mentioned before that 2012 was my "dive into non-fiction" year and I honestly can say I have been missing out for many years!  I'm not into historical reading, but more on topics that I find thought-provoking and relevant to today's life.

This past week I read 7:  An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker.  The author chooses seven areas in her life (and her family's) and focuses on cutting back on each for one month.  Some were admittedly a little extreme, like only eating seven foods or wearing seven articles of clothing for a month, but others were much more practical, like spending and stress.  Once again, I found myself thinking of how we live and the small things we could change that would not only make a difference in our lives, but others as well.

The book is a fun, easy read.  The author's style made me chuckle and it was far from "preachy."  Much of this is tied to her faith, which I enjoyed, and her honesty about the way they live their lives and how she came to realize how much excess "stuff" they really have is easy to relate to.  I think we can all agree that we live in a society where many feel like they need more, more, more or must have the newest and best item out there.  The question, though, is does it really make us happier?  

I have no intention of following in her footsteps by creating such a drastic project, but there are some areas of our life that I'd like to make small changes to.  Like most people, we have too much "stuff."  Our house could use a good overhaul, even though we moved not long ago and parted ways with many items.  Most of the time we donate our items to Goodwill and move on without giving it much thought. One point that she made, however, was to actually connect with people while giving items away.  For example, instead of dropping them off at Goodwill, take your items to a shelter or organization where you may actually interact with the people who receive the goods.  It may be a little extra work, but may help us realize how lucky we truly are and give us the opportunity to see first-hand how others live.

Another area that I'm always working to improve upon is food.  Unfortunately, food manufacturers are allowed to add some many additives and junk into what we eat, that it is important to mindful of what we are eating and feeding our children.  I do my best to navigate the grocery aisles and find the healthiest choices, but there is always room to improve.  Since moving, I haven't been able to find a good place to buy organic produce or meat that is not pumped full of hormones and other junk.  I would like to work on that a bit more and adjust our grocery budget to do so.  We've already cut way back on what we feed our kids for snacks and cut-out most processed food you'd find in the freezer section, but there are products that we buy that appear to be "healthy" that really aren't.  This will forever be an ongoing project.

These are just a few examples of what I'd like to accomplish.  There are more, of course, but I don't have time to share them!  If you read the book, I'm sure you'll come up with some projects, however big or small, of your own.  It's definitely worth the read!

Daring Greatly: A Book Review

Not too long ago I shared a book with you that I loved.  It was called The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown.  I loved this book so much I bought a copy for myself and for a gift to give a female at our annual family Christmas gift exchange.  I haven't revisited the book yet, but I did read her most recent book that my husband bought me for Christmas:  Daring Greatly:  How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead.   

It was my first book of 2013 and I think I started off the year with a great choice!  One chapter that I found to be particularly interesting pertained to parenting.  Brene Brown has spent over a decade doing research on shame (among other things) and it's amazing how this can really effect our lives.  One of the main points that I took away from the chapter was to separate the child from the behavior.  This was a good refresher from my education years ago.  We all have moments (probably daily!) where our children make choices that irk us.  How we react to these moments, though, can really shape how our children feel about themselves both now and going forward.  It was a good reminder to think about how I phrase my words when I am upset/correcting my kids.  Rule of thumb:  "Name, you have made a bad choice/decision (insert offense)."  We could follow that up with, "How can you fix it" or "What could you do differently?"  

I'm not going to lie, the words, "You are naughty" or another shameful word has come out of my mouth plenty of times.  I will definitely be making a conscious effort to improve the way I relay my message to my kiddos.  I don't want them to feel ashamed that they can't do something, for example tying their shoes or making it to the potty in time, but I want them to feel good about their effort and give it their best.  This really just brushes the surface.  You'll have to read the book if you want to learn more!

Shame really fills a large space in our society.  It happens at home, school, work, and organizations with our family, friends, and strangers.  We're a competitive society and putting down others' efforts is the norm.  We try to "one-up" others and make ourselves feel good about our decisions and circumstances.  The list goes on and on.  Sometimes it takes concrete examples, like those given in the book, to make us realize how common it really is.     

The last point I'd like to make about this book involves risk-taking and creativity.  The author points out that many times we don't even make an effort to do something we really want to do, because we are afraid of how it will be received by others.  How many of your dreams have you squashed because you were afraid to share them with others?  How many thoughts do you keep to yourself because you are afraid you will be shut out by the one you share them with?  I'm sure you could think of several examples in just a few minutes.  On the flip side, how many times have you shut someone else down?  Just something to think about!

I really can't recommend this book (and the other) enough.  They will both make you think and perhaps strive to make some simple (or not so simple) changes in your lives.  In a society where we beat ourselves up or get beaten up by others on a daily basis, I think we could all use a little insight and motivation to make some changes.  While I've given each book one read-through, I will definitely be reading them again in the near future.  There is so much good information to process, that it's worth a second look!       

Taking Care of Our Corner of the World Part 2: Our Community

Thanksgiving and Christmas seem to be a time when many of us focus on helping others.  There are endless food and toy drives, as well as opportunities to donate warm winter clothing to those who may be in need.  This is the time of the year when we tend to offer our support to those in our community, and perhaps around the world, who are much less fortunate than us.  It may come as second nature to many of us to participate in these activities, but are we taking care of our community the other ten months out of the year?

In this part of my series on caring for our corner of the world, I would like to reflect on how we can better take care of those in our community.  Once again I find myself thinking about what we currently do and in what areas we could improve upon.  When I think of helping my community, my first thought is of those in the area in which I live who are struggling to make ends meet and in need of basic survival staples.  Perhaps this is what many of you think of as well, and while this is very important, maybe we should be looking even closer to home:  our family, friends, and neighbors.

In this day and age of "hurry up and go" and technology, I feel like we've become much more disconnected to those around us.  Instead of picking up the phone and speaking to someone, we send an email or text.  Birthday cards and handwritten letters have often been replaced with electronic cards, Facebook or other social media wishes, or emails.  At times it feels like we've lost the ability to effectively communicate without the use of technology.  I know I am guilty of this, but it is something that with some organization and conscious effort, could easily be changed.  How simple would it be to go through the calendar at the beginning of the year, write down your family and friend's birthdays, and have a stack of cards ready and waiting to be mailed?  Including a little note would be a wonderful gift for those important people in your life!  

When we talk with our family, neighbors, friends, and co-workers are we really listening?  Everyone struggles and has their ups and downs, but are we willing to listen and offer help if necessary?  Not long ago I was struggling and feeling overwhelmed (not to say this doesn't happen at least once a day!) and just not feeling like myself.  One day I got a text from my dear friend from college asking if everything was okay.  She had picked up that I wasn't acting like myself and I couldn't have been more relieved to have someone to talk to.  It's the little things that make a big difference.  Our exchange made me realize that things were a little "off" in my life and gave me the push I needed to express those feelings I was holding inside.  How often do we miss these cues in other people or brush them off as nothing.  Maybe a simple, "Are you okay?" could make a huge difference in someone's life.  A few weeks ago after a Kansas City Chiefs football player killed his girlfriend and himself, Brady Quinn sat in a press conference and made this wonderful point (take a listen, it's worth it!).

Taking a look at our bigger community is very important as well.  What could we do to help out those who are in need?  I read a thought-provoking book called You Can Buy Happiness (And It's Cheap):  How One Woman Radically Simplified Her Life and You Can Too by Tammy Strobel.  Much of this book talked about our society's obsession with "stuff" and how removing some of this clutter in our lives can be very beneficial.  By no means would I ever claim that I would even consider being as radical as her in this adventure, but I think there were many valid points that encouraged me to think a little about how we could change.  I'm sure we could all go through our closets and find clothes that we've hardly worn (or maybe even ever worn?) and donate them to those in need.  The same would apply to toys, books, household gadgets, etc.  Perhaps we could take the money that we may spend on unnecessary things and instead buy food or clothing to donate throughout the year.  Time is a precious commodity, but if we could find some every week or month, could we find causes near and dear to our hearts and volunteer our time and physical presence to really make a difference?  Many, many kids struggle with literacy, school, socializing, and quite frankly feeling like someone cares about them.  Could we find some time in our busy schedules to help them?  There are always opportunities on United Way's website (look in your local area) to help.  Could we all challenge ourselves to go out of our way this year to find some volunteer opportunity to donate our time to?

This post only begins to touch the surface of what we could do.  There are many worthy causes we could assist in our community:  the homeless, sick, military, under-priveleged , elderly, etc.  What touches you and what will you do to make a difference?  I know that one of the areas I am passionate about is literacy and children.  This year I plan to challenge myself to find a way to get books into these kids' hands.  A lifelong friend of mine and I are working together to explore a way to help in our local community.  It would make me so very happy if our idea came to fruition.  

For those of you who are parents, don't forget to encourage your children to think of others and involve them in service activities.  If possible, take them along when you volunteer.  Have them make cards for sick neighbors, friends, or family.  Take them to the store and have them assist in buying food, clothing, toys, or books for others.  What a wonderful way to instill a lifelong love of service.  Let's help out the community, large and small, in our corner of the world!  This is the perfect time of year to set some goals and follow through on them!        

 

   

Taking Care of Our Corner of the World Part 1: Our Home

The events that transpired on Friday are indescribable.  Words like horrific, tragic, and terrifying don't even begin to touch the surface of what happened.  Innocent lives taken at a place that is to be safe, fun, and filled with learning should simply just not happen.  Unfortunately, this is the reality of the society we live in today.  Where have we gone wrong and what can we do as parents to try to right some of the wrongs in this world?  It's a very loaded question that I certainly won't pretend to have the answers to, but I've sat and thought a lot about this over the weekend and have decided to reflect on some of my thoughts.  I know not all of you may agree with some of the things that I have to say, but that's okay.  To each his own.

A friend of mine posted a wonderful thought on Facebook that day.  To summarize, she said that she often felt overwhelmed that she wasn't doing enough to make a difference in the world.  I think this is something that most of us can relate to.  The next statement, however, is what is truly important and an idea that we should all take to heart.  She said, "A wise friend told me to focus on my corner of the world."  Simple, but powerful.

This is the statement that I have given much thought to this weekend.  As a parent, the obvious place to start is our home.  Our children need to feel loved, safe, important, and that we have time for them.  In our society, it seems that most times we are all in a rush to get somewhere or get something done.  I know that I am guilty of this at times, but it is a part of my life that I feel we can and have changed.  Nothing is really more important than greeting my children in the morning by simply saying, "Good morning!  How are you today?"  Our mornings are busy, but it sets a tone that yes, you are loved and I care about how you are doing.  I also think it's very important to sit down and eat dinner as a family.  If both my husband and I cannot be there, then at least one of us should be sitting with our kids and facilitating talk about our day, concerns, and interests.  Finally, we make it a point to put each kiddo to bed independently.  We sing to them, say prayers, listen to any problem that may come up, kiss them good night, and of course, tell them we love them.  I feel like if our lives are too busy to engage in these simple activities, then we need to reevaluate how we spend our time.

I know this may be an area that ruffles some feathers, but it's just our belief.  I have mentioned this before, but the one area that my husband and I have discussed at great length is how we will handle activities outside of school with our children.  We believe that our kiddos should have the opportunity to explore their interests, but within reason.  It seems that all extracurricular activities have begun at such a young age, that we forget that back when we were young, kids weren't playing organized sports at 3.  We were playing with our toys at home.  For me, many activities didn't begin until the magic age of eight.  I feel like our society has become so focused on being the best that, at times, we forget about what's developmentally appropriate.  Parents spend a great deal of time (and stress themselves out!) running children from activity to activity and at events that it takes away from time to just slow down and be together as a family.  We offer activities to our kids and let them explore their interests, but it's within moderation.  One activity at a time with breaks in between.  This is especially important to us, because we have a large family and want to be fair, but not have our lives completely booked up with no time for spontaneous fun!  Just an example:  our oldest son just finished up a basketball session.  He played seven games over the course of eight weeks.  After the holidays, another session begins, but we will not be participating.  Instead, we have told him that instead of playing basketball, we'll be taking them to other fun activities that we can't do if he's playing, since it's in the middle of a Saturday.  I think our kiddos will turn out just fine not being involved in an excess of activities!

The other aspect of home is our marriage.  It seems that once we have kids, it becomes difficult to balance our lives.  Our kids tend to be the focus and our marriage and taking care of ourselves can take a back seat.  I know this is something that I struggle with:  how to divide my time and still feel like I'm adequately taking care of everyone, including myself.  This is an area of my life that I hope to greatly improve upon in 2013, though it will be even more challenging since we'll be adding another little kiddo to the brood.  I want my children to know that they are important, but not always the focus.  It's pretty pathetic when our kids are surprised that my husband and I would actually be leaving them at home and doing something together!  Definitely something to think about:  more date nights!  It is my hope that my husband and I can model what a loving relationship looks like where respect is given to each other.  Setting a good example at home can go a long way in how our children will treat others.  

To close for today, I'd like to recommend a book that a dear friend of my told me about last year.  It is called The Power of the Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian.  When I first got it, I picked it up and read several chapters.  We even used it as a focus for our mom's group at church.  In time, though, I set it aside and haven't given it much thought in awhile.  I've pulled it back off the shelf and hope to work through the book and the study guide over the course of the next few months.  Parenting in this day and age is scary and maybe this book will help in easing some of that anxiety and fear.  Maybe it will invite some conversation between your spouse or friends and help us to understand how we can better ourselves as parents.  

The old saying is true, "It takes a village to raise a child."  Perhaps we can look inside ourselves and really evaluate what may need to change in our lives to ensure that we are giving it our all.  This extends outside of our homes and into our communities.  That's what I hope to think about today and reflect on tomorrow.  May all of your children be safe today and always!  

Who Am I?

This is the question many moms ask themselves.  Sometimes it is hard for me to come up with an answer other than "Mom" and "Wife."  This question has been put back into my mind, as I've been reading several books by the author Kristin Hannah (which I love!) and the last few have been about mothers, who once their children left the nest, had lost themselves along the way.  While these books are fiction, there are definitely real-life issues that are addressed:  this being one of them.

I know I've talked about this before, but it's definitely a question worth examining again.  Before we welcome another child into the world, I think it may be important for me to figure out who I am outside of the role of wife and mother.  It is so easy to get so wrapped up in those roles, not to mention the time commitment, that there often seems like there's just not enough time to do something for myself.

So, where do I start this journey?  I think my first step is to think about what brings me happiness outside of my family.  Most of the hobbies I enjoy are typically done at home, so that doesn't really get me out of the house!  Perhaps I could take my love of reading a bit further and join a book club.  I know it starts off about reading a book, but usually ends up as a night of chit-chat instead!  That may be a step in the right direction.

I also like to volunteer, organize, and be part of groups.  Before we moved, and my older kids were younger, I co-founded two mom's groups:  one online that brought mothers with young children together and one at my church.  These type of activities are fulfilling to me, because I enjoy bringing people together and having social opportunities.  I feel like these type of activities serve a purpose and I am a person who likes to see results and help others.  I think I should look for some organizations here that are looking for help or if there is a need in the community within my comfort-zone, then maybe starting a group should be explored.

My husband says that when it comes down to it, I'm a teacher.  While this may be true, teaching full-time just isn't something I can or desire to do right now.  I feel like I need to be at home and am lucky enough to do so, but I needed to find a way to channel the teacher inside of me and incorporate that into my life somehow.  Teaching early childhood classes a few days a week may just be what I needed.  I am enjoying planning the classes and putting my education to work, but I am still able to take the kiddos along.  I feel like it is beneficial for the community as well, as it brings people together and provides some fun, educational activities for the little ones.

After writing this, I feel like I have some direction and am on the right path.  Finding time to do everything may be difficult, but it never hurts to try new things.  The beauty of it all, is that if it gets to be too much, I can "downsize."  My next challenge is to find opportunities for my husband and I to escape every so often by ourselves.  Date nights are few and far between these days, but we really need to work on making it more of a priority.  That is for another day!

As a mother, do you feel like this is a question you need to find the answer to?  I'd love to hear your success stories if you find an answer!

Sometimes You Need A Little Pick-Me-Up

This week I have admittedly taken a little break from my normal routine.  Planning, preparing, and hosting the family gathering last weekend emptied my tank and I needed a full week to try to replenish my energy!  I feel like we've let one of our last few weeks of summer slip by, but I was just too wiped out to do much and so were the kids.  I took them on a field trip on Monday to see the John Deere Pavilion, but other than that we were homebodies watching the Olympics and playing some new sports we've seen on tv.  I'm glad my kids have great imaginations, because they've filled those hours to the fullest!

This week I took the time to read a few books.  Today I'd like to share a little review on a book that would be great for any mother to read.  It's called You're Already Amazing: Embracing Who You Are, Becoming All God Created You to Be by Holley Gerth.  I found the title on Amazon when it was brought up in the "You may also like this" section under a book title I had already read.  It sounded interesting and I'm glad I picked it up!

We all know that being a parent is an overwhelming, never-ending job.  I know I always feel like I could be doing a better job, giving my kids more, providing more experiences for them, etc.  Most days I feel like I am just not doing enough.  I analyze situations that I didn't handle the way I would like, brainstorm ways to "fix" some of the problems we have with our kids, and make endless lists of activities I would like to do with them.  The problem is, there is just not enough time in the day to everything I'd like to do.

Perhaps, I need to cut myself some slack.  At least that's what the author of this book is suggesting.  One of the reasons I enjoyed this book is because it helps you take a step back and look at who you are.  Each chapter helps you to identify your strengths and encourages you to build upon them.  She helps you see in what ways you can put your strengths to work to make yourself feel happy, useful, and direct you to activities that you will succeed in.  Perhaps those areas in your life that you have viewed as weaknesses for so long really aren't.  It is just not how your mind is wired.  It's okay!  (Sigh of relief).

I know I always have a desire to do more, both for my family and myself.  I have endless to-do lists and set goals for myself that I work to achieve.  While I like to visually see my goals and cross them off the list, I don't always achieve what I had hoped and it can be a little disappointing.  Here is an idea from the book that I like, though:  the "Do What You Can Plan."  Here's a great example:  I'd like to exercise at least four times a week, but it just doesn't always work out.  Instead of beating myself up about it, the author suggests just doing what I can.  If I can only fit in a few push-ups and crunches a day, then so be it.  At least I've done something.  Of course this can be applied to many areas in my life.  I think it's a great idea!  

To me, though, the most important chapter was about taking care of yourself.  I know that I don't take nearly enough time for myself.  It's something that I've been trying to work on for awhile.  In fact, you can find it listed under a personal goal in My Happiness Project journal.  I've read this in various magazines and books and no matter how hard I try, I always sell "my time" short.  I have come to realize that I need to make this a priority.  Somehow I need to schedule in some kid-free time either alone, with friends, or my husband.  In the end it will make me a better mother, wife, and person in general.  Everybody needs some time to re-energize themselves.  We don't have to feel selfish or ashamed about it.  It is just a simple truth.

If you're looking for a book to help you understand a little bit more about yourself and your tendencies, then this is a good read.  This book is focused on leading a life that God has planned for you, so there are many biblical references.  The author helps the audience relate these verses to everyday life and offers some suggestions on how we can use our strengths to enrich our families and community.  

After reading this book, I feel like I'm on the right path in my life journey.  It was easy for me to find where my personal tendencies lie in each section and it came as no surprise in most cases.  I enjoy being a leader, working with many people, and am full of ideas that I enjoy putting to use to help others.  Now that we are settling into our community, I am working hard to find ways to put these skills to work.  Just this week, I acted on a few ideas.  If they come to fruition, I will share them with you.  

We have to remember:  life is a journey, not a destination.  There are always new adventures waiting around the corner and we just have to figure out our paths to achieve His plan.  Regardless of how we feel we are doing at the moment, it's okay:  we're still amazing in God's eyes! 

    

Our Favorite Kid Reads

What is one of the best activities you can do with your kiddos?  Reading!  I love to read and always have.  In my childhood photo albums, you will find many pictures of me leafing through a book or being read to.  It is an activity that I have always enjoyed and something I hoped to pass along to my children as well. 


We began reading to our kids when they were babies and it became the center of our bedtime routine.  We still spend about 15-20 minutes each night reading to the kids before bed and they thoroughly enjoy this time.  All of our kids were "reading" their favorites aloud before they were two.  Those are some of the sweetest memories I have.  They were all so proud (and so were we!).  


Books can be found all over our home in baskets, on bookshelves in each of their rooms, and in their "on the go" backpacks that we take in the car and to church.  We have books for all seasons, holidays, and major life events it seems.  I guess that's what happens when your mom was a former early childhood teacher and had boxes of books before the kiddos even came along!  We add many books to our collection each year and we all think they are a perfect gift to give and receive.  Now that the kids are getting older, I have begun to add books with audio CD's to their collections so they can listen to stories at quiet time.  This has been a big hit, as well as the TAG Junior and TAG reading systems.


While many of our books are worn, torn, and loved, we definitely have a handful that are the favorites of each child.  Today I thought I'd share some of those titles with you, as you may be looking for some new material for your kids or a good gift for a child.  Another day I will share with you our favorite authors for a variety of ages.  It can be so hard to narrow them down!  


Here are some of our favorite book titles:


Pete the Cat:  I Love My White Shoes and Pete the Cat: Rocking in My School Shoes by James Dean (the audio that goes with these books is awesome!)
Dini Dinosaur by Karen Beaumont (this was a great find at the library)
Giraffe's Can't Dance by Giles Andreae
Freight Train by Donald Crews
The Goodnight Train by June Sober
Goodnight Moon by Margarent Wise Brown
Pinkalicious by Elizabeth Kann
Little Blue Truck by Alice Shertle
Knuffle Bunny series by Mo Willems
Silly Sally by Audrey Wood
The Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister
Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
Corduroy and A Pocket for Corduroy by Don Freeman
The Snowy Day and A Letter for Amy by Ezra Jack Keats
Charlie the Caterpillar by Dom Deluise
The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn
Go Away, Big Green Monster! by Ed Emberly
Press Here by Herve Tullet
I Love You, Blue Kangaroo by Emma Chichester Clark
The Little Mouse, The Red Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear by Audrey Wood
I Love You Through and Through by Bernadette Rossetti-Shustak


There are some definite classics in this list, but there are some great new books out there as well.  We look forward to finding some more new gems and adding them to our collection!  

Some of Our Favorites

Counting Your Gifts

I recently finished a book called One Thousand Gifts:  A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp.  It was recommended to me by a friend from one of my mom's groups after she found out I had enjoyed reading The Happiness Project.  I had initially tried to read this in the midst of preparing for our big move, but I found that I could not give the book the attention that it needed.  Now that we are semi-settled, I thought I'd give it another try.  I am glad that I did!


I will be honest, this is a book that I found a bit difficult to read.  As I was reading, I would find myself drifting off and thinking about my life.  Due to my mind wandering, there were many moments when I had to pause and read some passages over again.  This really is an amazing story of a woman who made an effort to change the way she viewed her life.  She took the time to record all that she was grateful for, whether good or bad, and learned to appreciate the ups and downs of life.


There were parts of this book that really hit home for me, but one particular moment stood out to me.  In one chapter, the author asks her older son to make some toast for his younger brother.  He does as she asks, but instead of handing it to him he throws the toast in his face.  Any mother's natural reaction would be to get upset and punish the older child for treating his brother this way.  Internally she is furious, but in her mind she begins to thank God for the the gifts she has been given and does not react.  Over time, all of the other children leave and she is left with the older son who mistreated his brother.  He begins to defend his actions by sharing that she does not see what the younger brother does behind the scenes.  He opens up to her and she begins to understand why he lashed out.  She feels that none of this would have ever been shared with her had she reacted negatively and punished him.  Sometimes it is easy to forget that there may be a reason why a child lashes out at another.  Things aren't always black and white.


As a parent, it is our job to nurture our children and to teach them to be kind, caring, respectful, and polite (among many other things!).  The best way to do this is to lead by example.  I will be honest:  I am not always the best model.  There are times when I lose my temper and raise my voice.  How can I ask my child to speak kindly to his sister when he is upset with her, when I do not do that to him?  How can I ask my daughter not to yell at her brother when she is upset with him, when I may have just yelled at her?   It is something that I am trying to work on.  We all are.  Perhaps in my mind I can be thankful that my child is healthy, at home with me, and able to speak their mind rather than think about how upset I am with his or her behavior.  Don't get me wrong, my children will still be expected to behave and respect others.  They will be disciplined fairly for what they have done, but I will do my best to push the anger down and teach them a lesson in a fair way.  I will listen to what they are telling me, why they behaved the way they did, and then we will figure out a solution to the problem together.


I am always evaluating myself as a mother.  There are many times when I wish I would have handled a situation differently.  I have realized that the best I can do is apologize and try to handle it differently next time.  The experts say you should have five positive interactions for every negative encounter with your child.  That can seem hard to attain, especially on those days when everyone seems to be "off."  This is one reason why I like the sticker charts and the kindness jar.  This is an easy way to make me see the positives, in our case listening the first time or being kind, and reward them in a positive way.


I like the idea of taking the time to think about the gifts I have been given and be thankful for the little things that I may miss if I don't slow down.  While I don't think I will be writing them all down in a journal like the author, I will definitely take the time to make a mental list each day.  Each night during prayers we ask our children what they are thankful for that day.  We have been doing this for years and while many times it is the standard "my family, my house, my toys, etc." there are times when I hear something unique that stood out to them that day and I am proud that they are taking the time to think about what they are grateful for.  You're never too young to start counting your gifts!

    

  

The Power of Friendship

After a busy weekend, I realized the month has changed yet again.  I can hardly believe that we are halfway through 2012.  It is amazing how fast time really flies.  Before I get on with my post, I would just quickly like to share with you what I was up to this weekend:  the Dirty Girl Mud Run.  This was the 5K event I was training for and it was a blast!  If you have a similar event in your area, I would highly recommend getting a group of girlfriends together and doing it.  I am not a "play in the mud" kind of gal, but this was really a fun challenge.  Everyone I talked to that participated was in agreement:  let's do it again!

If this wasn't fun, would we all be smiling?  

I am always excited at the beginning of the month.  It is time for me to reflect on how things are going in my life:  what is working and what needs some improvement.  As part of my Happiness Project, I set three goals in each of three areas and focus on them for a whole month.  Many of them become a habit and carry over, but some are just a 30-day goal that I would like to achieve.  I am looking forward to my goal-setting later today.  

I just finished a fun book called MWF Seeking BFF:  My Yearlong Search For a New Best Friend by Rachel Bertsche.  This book caught my eye when I was searching for some new reading material, so I picked it up from my local library and dove right in.  Since we had just moved, I thought it was something that I could relate to.  As it turned out, I really enjoyed the book and there is a lot of insight on friendship intertwined with the stories of her "girl dates."        

Friendships seem to take a backseat once you become a mom.  I have heard many moms say that they don't feel like they have any time to do anything for themselves:  it's always for everyone else.    If there is one thing I learned from this book, it's that having good friendships is vital for your well-being.  You need to make the time to build your social network.  I know that after I had my first child and began staying at home, I felt isolated for a long time.  When he was about five months old, I began to google mom's groups in my area.  I found one that I wanted to try and got up the nerve to go.  It wasn't long and we branched off and started our own group.  It saved my sanity!  Before I knew it, I had weekly playgroups to attend and some occasional nights out.  As our family grew, these women helped out by bringing meals when we had a new baby and we began to try activities outside of our group together.  We had a lot of fun and always joked that the playgroups were more for us than the kids!

Once we had our third child, though, I began to find it hard to participate in the playgroups as I was balancing two nap schedules and running a child to and from preschool a few days a week.  Our youngest son was a challenge when he was a baby (and can be still!) and I spent a lot of time at home alone with the kids again.  It was a very difficult time in my life and something needed to change.  I ended up heading back to the gym where I met several women through the classes that I took.  It was great to have some adult interaction and I always left feeling very happy.  I also began to hang out with some moms that I had met through my son's preschool class.  It felt so wonderful to connect with these women and it brought my spirits right up.  

A few of the ladies I met through my son's preschool class have become dear friends to me.  In the beginning it was just a friendship among the moms and kids, but we decided to introduce our husbands after awhile and planned some family events.  We all had a wonderful time and would try to get another one in the books before we got too busy with everyday life.  It was a good idea to commit to something a month in advance than to try to pull together a last-minute gathering.  We miss our little group, but were fortunate to have a few hours together on our trip back over the weekend.  I think it is pretty awesome that my son's fondness for two little girls turned into such great friendships for me!

If this book taught me anything, it's that I need to make the time to keep in touch with my "old" friends and meet new people as well.  I will by no means be placing an ad to find a new BFF, but I will step out of my comfort zone a bit and take the time to strike up conversations with people who I don't know (or don't know well) and see where life takes us.  There are also friendships that I had in my life that have faded that I would love to revisit again.  Whatever happens, I will forever be grateful for all of the friendships that I have had over the years.  If you really think about it, everyone played a role in who you are today!